The Glickers
by LoveFromShinola
Summary: Joel and his parents are invited to Pubert's first birthday and the Glickers' reaction to the Addamses is exactly the way Joel wanted it...


**AN:**

**I've started watching The Addams Family TV series and I'm really enjoying it, but my first love (seeing as I saw them first) will always be the films. That's just the way it goes I suppose. You always tend to prefer the version you see first. So this will be based on the films but may have a few little informational titbits taken from the TV series. So Fester is Gomez's brother and not Tish's uncle, Wednesday is older than Pugsley, Mama is Morticia's mother and so on and so forth. Plus this does contain a lot of reference to Addams Family Values, the 1993 sequel. Okay, here we go. And remember, Joel has met the Addamses before this, at Fester and Debbie's wedding, so that explains the lack of shock. Oh and I do not own The Addams Family, that right belongs to Paramount and Charles Addams.**

Joel was enjoying this feeling of supremacy. He'd purposefully not told his parents about the various eccentricities of the Addams family. Of course they'd seen the bulk of the clan from afar at Chippewa, but Joel hadn't thought to mention that their 'costumes' were more than a one-off affair, or that, when he'd attended the wedding they'd off-handedly let him go to, he'd witnessed enough bizarre things to last him a lifetime. Instead, when the invitation, addressed to Master, Mr and Mrs Glicker had dropped on their mat, he'd simply said, truthfully, that the Addamses were a very kind group of people and he wouldn't mind going at all. So they'd set out that morning, happy in the reality that they were going to a little boy's birthday party to meet a set of aristocratic mansion-dwellers. The fact they knew Wednesday was slightly psychotic had seemed to escape them. As they often reminded Joel, they were people who firmly believed that how a child turned out had no reflection on their parents.

They'd parked up in front, and Joel had taken the first advantage, letting his mother and father precede him to Gate. A screech and a shout later and already the Glickers were doubting their decision to attend. Then of course there was Lurch. He answered the door in his usual Frankenstein fashion and Joel smiled at him and stepped through the door. His parents were far too petrified by fear to do anything other than stare. They'd been ushered in, shaking and nervous and the loud thud of the door closing had forced a whimper from Stella Glicker's mouth.

Standing in the entryway, Joel was feeling proud as punch with himself for terrifying his irritating folks. The best was yet to come. As she always did (or so Wednesday had told him, as they'd entered the house that first time) Mrs Addams greeted the guests. She came gliding down the stairs, wearing her usual black, and he'd seen his mother's face drop when she knew that their 'costumes' had not been costumes at all.

'You must be Mr and Mrs Glicker,' Mrs Addams greeted from the top of the stairs, in her whisper-soft voice. It still managed, by some sort of magic, to carry to the trio, as she glided down the steps after it, the hem of her dress whispering across the boards. She was pale and red-lipped and talon-nailed, exactly as he remembered her and that was when Joel knew this was going to be the most amusing night of his thus far short life. Though she'd obviously both terrified and intimidated his plain little mother, Mr Glicker was entranced by her and took her offered hand and kissed it confusedly, not used to playing the part of the chivalrous gentleman. Mrs Addams half-smiled kindly, as was her way and limit, before a sword came flying through the air, missing Mr Glicker's face by millimetres. Mrs Addams was not shocked, nor, to his credit, was Joel. It was his cowering parents that kept his attention, gleefully, as Mr Addams strode into the room.

'Sorry about that old man!' he exclaimed, the opposite of his soft-spoken wife, 'Game of darts gone completely awry, but Lurch will insist on moving the board.'

As his parents spoke timidly with Mr and Mrs Addams, Joel excused himself and strode in the direction Mr Addams had come from, leaving his mother and father alone and at the mercy of

eccentric, happy people.

He'd not entirely believed Wednesday when she'd told him, on that first visit, that her parents never argued. The wedding had got them on to the subject of marriage, and to parents. While Joel had complained about his parents' fights and had hoped for shared experiences, 'They scream at each other all the time.' Wednesday had said, dead pan as always.

'My parents never argue – but they do scream.'

He'd been dumbstruck at such an ostentatious claim and had simply thought that his being an outsider meant that of course he wouldn't see them at each other's throats. But, after his second evening with them had been long since underway, it was becoming clear that Wednesday hadn't been exaggerating.

The Addamses, or rather Mr Addams, was often at his wife's throat, but for no intention other than to kiss her, an act which Mr and Mrs Glicker found to verge on the edges of indecency. Too many times that night, according to Stella, had they 'canoodled' with one another. Mel wasn't complaining. He hadn't stopped staring at Mrs Addams all night. Her 'Please, call me Morticia' had been met with enthusiasm. He hadn't seen a woman with a waist that tiny or a body that svelte in years and wasn't about to waste time leering at it. Luckily, Mr Addams didn't notice.

The evening had been drawing to a steady close for a while and little by little, members of the family began to filter out, leaving the most important part of the night to the Addamses alone. Mrs Glicker looked relieved and Mr Glicker seemed unable to decide between relief and annoyance, until Mr Addams, ever-exuberant, stopped their exit:

'Come now my good man, madam. It's time for Pubert's birthday cake,' Mrs Glicker's nose wrinkled and Mr Glicker looked mortified. 'Join us, no need to rush off.'

The pair attempted to make their apologies, but Mr Addams would hear none of it. He directed them to the centre of the room, where they watched with horror as Pugsley wheeled in a dynamite cake and Grandmamma appeared looking just as mad as usual.

Joel was pleased at the events of the evening. His parents had become more and more terrified, confused and put off by the Addamses, which meant he'd be able to see Wednesday against their better wishes, something he'd always wanted to be able to do. He'd known they'd never approve. Hell, the Addams' had scared him silly the first time he'd been here, but that was all a part of it. He was getting the bad yet strangely warm feeling that he would soon end up caring more for this group of mad-cap macabre folks than he ever had his own over-bearing, controlling, ever-disappointed parents.

He felt a happy, brotherly connection with Pugsley, thought Pubert was much cuter than any goldilocks baby and that Grandmamma was sweet, as long as you overlooked the witchcraft and the cooking. Mr and Mrs Addams were friendly and accepting and their easy camaraderie with one another was great to be around. Even Lurch and Fester, the oddballs of the oddballs, were good people. And Wednesday. She might be morbid and sarcastic and constantly deadly, but she was the most intriguing, beautiful girl he'd ever known. Yes, Joel was pretty sure he'd enjoy spending time with the Addamses. As long as Wednesday would have him that is…

Daydreaming, Joel was lost in a wonderland when the cake finally exploded, showering Fester and Pugsley in muck, while the others had thought to keep a discreet and in the Glickers case, over-thought distance. The noise of the explosion had torn a scream from Stella, who had at first thought (or hoped) that it was a novelty cake. She fainted dead away, while her husband was frozen to the spot, hand shaking on his untouched glass of god-knew-what. Joel smiled. The Glickers had definitely had an unforgettable time. As Wednesday, uncaring about the welfare of his parents, lead him out to the graveyard, he was filled with the wish that this evening would be the first of many and that Wednesday might be willing to answer a few questions he had…

**AN:**

**And that's when the last scene of Values picks up. Hope you liked this little insight. I know the Glickers weren't there in the film and neither were Flora and Fauna and I missed out some stuff, but call it creative license. Okay, what did you think? Please review x**


End file.
